In my little corner of the world it seems that there has been much to grieve lately. Sad goodbyes. Hard times in the lives of those I love. Reality. It seems overwhelming at times. But then there's sweet sweet Aana. One of the reasons I grieve, yet one who brings joy still. She is now pain and suffering free with her beloved savior. And I'm missing her words of encouragement and love already, as are so many others. So, in a recent moment of sadness, I went back to see the last few things she said to me. The last long message caught my eye. It was the one where she told me the doctor had said it was time to stop chemo and start hospice. She prefaced that information with these words:
"I got some sad news yesterday, but just remember God is sovereign."
At the news of her imminent death, she pointed me back to God. Aana amazed me in so many ways, but most importantly- to the end she was a witness of the faithfulness and love of God. She suffered much and there were moments of intense pain where she didn't want to deal with it all anymore. But never once did she do anything but cling to God and share his goodness with all around her. In her pain she pointed to him. On her good days she pointed to him. In her anger and confusion she pointed to him. And in all of it she chose to trust in his love and lean on his arms.
As I watched the sun rise yesterday I was overwhelmed with how all-knowing God is and how very little I understand. I felt so small and so out of control, messy and broken, but also so amazed. I was confused and wanting to understand, but I was in awe of Him. I was frustrated and a little bit terrified, yet I found myself in a place of praise. All I could think of was Job. (To be clear I am not in the least comparing my life to Job's. Or to anyone else's for that matter. It was just what came to mind.) He so did not get what was happening. It looked bleak. Life was not unfolding as planned and the future did not look hopeful. But when God spoke, He did not speak to Job's situation. He spoke the truth of who He is. He spoke of His power and majesty. He reminded Job of who He is and how much His plans are above ours. Aana saw this. She walked with God and pointed to these truths of His no matter what was happening in her life.
Our world will always hold grief and sorrow. But God will always hold our world. So may we grieve and cry as Aana did. And in the midst of it may we praise God for his goodness as Aana did. May you and I be ever more like Aana. May we, in any circumstance, point to Him and trust in Him. For He is so so good, even in the grief.
"I got some sad news yesterday, but just remember God is sovereign."
At the news of her imminent death, she pointed me back to God. Aana amazed me in so many ways, but most importantly- to the end she was a witness of the faithfulness and love of God. She suffered much and there were moments of intense pain where she didn't want to deal with it all anymore. But never once did she do anything but cling to God and share his goodness with all around her. In her pain she pointed to him. On her good days she pointed to him. In her anger and confusion she pointed to him. And in all of it she chose to trust in his love and lean on his arms.
As I watched the sun rise yesterday I was overwhelmed with how all-knowing God is and how very little I understand. I felt so small and so out of control, messy and broken, but also so amazed. I was confused and wanting to understand, but I was in awe of Him. I was frustrated and a little bit terrified, yet I found myself in a place of praise. All I could think of was Job. (To be clear I am not in the least comparing my life to Job's. Or to anyone else's for that matter. It was just what came to mind.) He so did not get what was happening. It looked bleak. Life was not unfolding as planned and the future did not look hopeful. But when God spoke, He did not speak to Job's situation. He spoke the truth of who He is. He spoke of His power and majesty. He reminded Job of who He is and how much His plans are above ours. Aana saw this. She walked with God and pointed to these truths of His no matter what was happening in her life.
Our world will always hold grief and sorrow. But God will always hold our world. So may we grieve and cry as Aana did. And in the midst of it may we praise God for his goodness as Aana did. May you and I be ever more like Aana. May we, in any circumstance, point to Him and trust in Him. For He is so so good, even in the grief.
