I think this also spills over into the idea of friendship. Friendship is about being with people who know you and love you still. But what does it mean to be truly known? I don't think you can truly know someone without knowing at least some of their story. I used to always ask people to tell me their stories. I haven't done that in awhile. And that makes me incredibly sad. I think it's my fear that stops me. The fear that someone will think I'm weird for asking that (which has definitely happened before) or find me too interested in their life and push away. And the lack of story is what leads to my second theme.
Loneliness. It's interesting because I have made friends here. And they are awesome people who I'm excited to get to know more and I love spending time with. But if you asked me who their best friend is or what they did over their summers growing up or how they made it through high school, I would have no idea. And I get that that's part of life. I didn't grow up with them. I uprooted my whole life to move somewhere new- I have to start over. It makes sense. But I'm beginning to realize how lucky I was back home. I had people who had known me from my childhood, people who walked with me through wilderness trips where I was at my worst and I thought I was going to die (yes I was a bit dramatic about my Honey Rock wilderness trips), people who knew my family and how important and close they are to me, people who knew my story.
People often talk or sing about feeling alone in a crowded room, having people surrounding you, but feeling completely alone. And I get that. And I think at times it's almost worse than actually being alone. There is a desperation to be known and to know. There is a desire for shared memories. There is a need to share your story and know their story. The hopeful side of this is that there is so much to share, so much to learn, so many memories to make. I have so many friends that I'm excited to create new stories alongside. I have so many people whose past stories I can't wait to hear. There is so much hope and joy in the new and the unknown! That's why I love to move!
That is to say, this is not a blog to cry out my sorrows and declare that I am always lonely and so sad. This is not the case. I feel blessed. I have friends. Yes, I feel lonely because people don't fully know me or my story. But that's just one dimension of my life. This morning in church I was reminded that no one can ever know me as fully as God does. So what does it mean to really let that truth fill our lives? What does it mean to know that we are the most well known we can ever be at every moment of our lives because our Creator, our Sustainer, and our Guide knows us thoroughly. And how can we draw near to Him and know Him better? One way is by continuing to hear His story- the one that is offered in His Holy Word and the nature surrounding us. The story that fills every person around us. His story is in each of us and we can only know it better when we listen to the stories of those around us. So, I am going to return to asking the question, "What is your story?" And I pray that I will learn more about the story of God in the stories of the lives around me while I create some deeper and more founded friendships in my beautiful, joyful, exciting, warm, and friendly (new) home.
2 comments:
Will you take care of my nephew's story while you are near him? It breaks my heart that I won't be close for the day-in day-out of his sweet beginnings, the start of his story. Thanks. :)
Of course Kate! He'll have plenty of people looking out for him at first, but I told Caroline I'll be here once they're all gone. So don't you worry your pretty little head. :) However, I can guarantee that he will want his aunt to visit as do I and your sister so we'll have to work out an arrangement <3
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